Adoption IS an Option

Did you know that in 2012, in the United States alone, 995,867 abortions were performed? That is nearly 1 million babies killed! Is that number alarming and overwhelming to anyone else but me? Does it hurt your heart like it does mine to hear such a startlingly high number? Perhaps I’m naive, or maybe even ignorant, but I had no idea that so many abortions happened here in our own back yard every year!

Infertility seems almost like an epidemic in our country, and so many couples are turning to adoption as the way to bring love, joy, and completion to their families. So I wonder, when a woman goes to a clinic for an abortion, how educated is she on her options? Does she truly realize the seriousness of what she is about to do? Does she realize she has another option? One that will take sacrifice on her part, for sure, but that will spare her child’s life, and even give it the full and abundant life it deserves?

I realize that there are exceptions to every rule. I understand people have their “justification” for their abortion, and I understand that adoption is not an easy choice, and it doesn’t always turn out perfect. I do get that. But overall adoption is a very loving alternative to abortion, and I would love to see more education and awareness about it.

I write about my own personal adoption experience in hopes of helping others realize how fulfilling and amazing adoption can be. But going forward I will be finding other ways to try to give a voice to those poor babies who are aborted instead of given the chance to fulfill their life’s destiny. I will try to be a voice for couples whom God has called to adopt the child He created for them through another birthmother. And I will be a supportive and educational voice to birthmothers facing the hardest choices they have ever made.

One small way I will get started is by spreading the word about a small adoption business, adoption.net, which inspired me to write this post, and which has become my motivation and my call to action. Adoption.net is (according to their website) passionate about changing the world through adoption, and they are working to spread the word about a third option that covers both pro life and pro choice options- adoption. Intuit is running a contest for a small business to win a superbowl commercial, and adoption.net has made it to the second round. Please help me spread the word about such an amazing cause by taking just a second of your time (literally) to vote for them to be recognized on one of the largest national commercial stages possible. The link is https://www.smallbusinessbiggame.com/CA/AdoptionNET/385565. Thank you so much!

Adoption IS an Option

Is Fertility an Issue For Those Who Choose Not to Parent?

My brother and sister in law have decided they will not have children. Period. They adore their nieces and nephews, and dote on the neighbors kids. But when it comes to raising their own, that is just not in their plans. And that’s ok. I may not understand not wanting to parent (and I know they would be fabulous parents!), but I certainly respect and possibly even admire their honesty and their consideration. Parenting is not for everyone! In fact, perhaps more people should decide parenting is not the best choice for their personal life. But I can’t help but wonder…

If people who decided they did not want to bring kids into their life knew they absolutely could not biologically have children, if they could never physically know the feeling of being a part of creating a new life, would they still not want to. Would they be joyous? Would they see it as an answer to their prayers? As an affirmation that they’ve made the right choice? Or would they experience the feeling of failure, of loss, that so many couples facing fertility issues feel?

As a woman who struggled for many years with trying to conceive, I know that I always felt my body was failing me, like it was letting me down. I would tell myself all the right things- that God had other plans for me (which he obviously did! Even better plans than I could have imagined!), and that it wasn’t the right time. But deep down I still beat myself up. I thought I did something wrong. I thought I didn’t deserve to know the love a mother feels for her children.

So I have to wonder if couples who choose to remain childless would still know that they didn’t want to bring children into the world anyway, or would they wonder what might have been? Would the man feel less of a man because he could not give his wife a child if she had wanted that? Would a woman feel like her body was broken, even though she never intended for it to carry a child?

If people are being brutally honest, these are the things they feel when they want to grow their family and it does not happen easily, or traditionally. But I just wonder if they feel that way when they are not intending to grow their family. These are the things I ponder!

Is Fertility an Issue For Those Who Choose Not to Parent?

When Doing the "Right Thing" is Completely Wrong

Epic Mom fail this morning! I sent my daughter to school in tears. Why? I wouldn’t let her wake up her dad to say good morning because then we would be running late. Seriously? I can’t let her say a quick good morning to Daddy before school because I can’t let her be a couple minutes late? Really not even late, necessarily, just skating in between the first and second bells.

And what makes this even worse? Let me just tell on myself even further. This is such an epic mom fail because my husband had been out of town for the last ten days and got home long after she was in bed asleep last night. She missed him and couldn’t wait to see him and give him “lots of hugs and kisses”, and I insist on doing the “right thing” and leaving right on time for school instead of allowing her those couple extra minutes to say hi. Talk about feeling bad all day. And to top it off, on the way to school I had to mention she didn’t put on any jewelry, which just made the tears fall faster and harder. Poor little girl was off to a rough start on a Monday morning. Oh, but I did the “right thing” by being right on time for school. Oh please!

So after tattling on myself and putting my big failure out there for the world, please let me offer up my defense. So what happened is….Bella got up with her alarm (yes, she’s a big girl at 7 now and likes to wake up by herself) and came down and sat, no snuggled, on the couch. I came out of my room, offered up sweet good mornings and told her we couldn’t lay around, that she needed to get her bed made and get dressed while I got her breakfast. After some grumbling about not wanting to go to school and just wanting to stay home and play with Tater and see Daddy, she trudged her way upstairs to begin getting ready, or so I thought. Remembering it was PE day at school I went upstairs to remind her to wear shorts and a t shirt as opposed to some fancy, cutesy outfit since she would be outside in the heat of the day. When I open her door guess who is picking out an outfit…for her Build A Bear. Yep! Still not doing what she needs to get done (although to her credit, she had made her bed). So I gently reminded her that if she did not get dressed and get her hair brushed quickly she may not have time for breakfast before school, and really the only person she was hurting was herself, because I could come home and eat whatever I wanted (ok, a little unnecessary jab, perhaps, but she needed a reality check). And would I really let her go without breakfast? Of course not! But still.

I’ll spare you the rest of the details of the morning and get right to the point. She was dawdling, I was getting frustrated, it was 5 minutes after we normally leave the house, and she wants to wake up Daddy still. I was trying to make a point of doing what’s right and not being late, and because of her choice to dawdle the morning away, something had to give. The problem with my point was that it hurt her. She didn’t miss out on having the hair do she wanted, or having to settle for a less than desired breakfast or outfit. She didn’t miss out on stopping for a treat before school. No, she missed out on seeing her daddy, whom she was really missing and just wanted to say good morning to. This is the problem with being a mom, a woman, who stands firm on principle. Sometimes, this time, the “right thing”, the principle, was completely and utterly the wrong thing!

When Doing the "Right Thing" is Completely Wrong