Thank You All!

Our sweet baby was born 4 weeks ago and I have yet to brag about how loving and generous my family and friends are, and how they’ve taken such amazing care of me and Mark and our girls. I’m so proud and blessed to call them mine!

While we were in the hospital my parents made sure my big girl was well cared for (so understated!!) and loved so we didn’t have to worry. They even made sure she had some fun times with friends to keep her distracted from worrying about me. They let her pick out balloons and flowers for me and made sure the house was so sweetly decorated for our homecoming. And through all that my mom made sure she was there for me too. Of course they continue to show their love and support, and offer any help we may need. I am so blessed!

All of my family (sisters, brother, all parents) has shown their excitement for our newest family member in all sorts of ways. The texts, phone calls, visits, support, prayers, and overall thoughtfulness mean so much! Two sisters sent maternity clothes, which I loved and got so much use out of! One sent beautiful baby clothes which will be a part of Kate’s wardrobe for a long time to come. One made sure Bella was busy while waiting for Kate, but made sure she was at the hospital when it was time for her to meet her new baby sister. My brother made a special trip down from North Carolina to meet his new niece, and my dad and stepmom will be here in 2 short weeks to meet their sweet granddaughter. Family is the best!

My friends are even more amazing than I ever knew! They helped out in any way they could with Bella, and they continue to do so still. Some came to visit, some made us delicious meals to make things a little (a lot!) easier when we came home, and some are helping with Bella’s school transportation since miss Kate despises the car line. Everyone has been so helpful and we feel so loved! All the phone calls, texts, emails, and visits were and are so appreciated! Who knew so many people cared so much?!

Finally, there’s my husband and his heart of gold. He is so loving and supportive, and he’s taken on so much. I overheard him telling someone that it’s been a bit of a challenge to juggle work and taking care of the household (cooking, cleaning, laundry, pet care, grocery shopping, etc.) and me and the two girls, and what an appreciation that renewed in him for all that I do for the family. It made my heart happy. He’s so protective of me and is making sure I’m resting and taking good care of myself and our sweet Kate.

In the hospital my husband was right there with me through the hardest thing I’ve ever been through in my life- 28 hours of intense labor followed by an unplanned c-section. He held my hand, fed me italian ice, tenderly wiped my face, and reminded me to breathe and focus on our sweet baby. He was the one to finally show me the face of our gorgeous girl. He was the one who so thoughtfully ordered me a Jimmy Johns sub since I hadn’t eaten for more than 24 hours, thinking I would finally be able to eat after delivery.

For the first two weeks home the only things my husband would let me do was feed and change Kate, sleep, and eat. He and Bella made sure I was comfortable and happy, and that I didn’t lift a finger. They figured out their routines, and though it wasn’t always easy, they did it for me.

Each day I’m getting better and more active, and I’m able to do more and  more around the house. Fortunately I do have Mark to keep me in check though. I am realizing that housework will wait, but our baby will only be this little once, and so I’m enjoying holding and snuggling her, and he and I tag team to keep a good balance. He will cook, clean up, change diapers, help with Bella’s homework, anything to make it easy for me. He helped Bella clean out and reorganize her bedroom. He loves just snuggling with Kate while I do things I want/ need to do, or while I spend time with Bella. He reminds me that I don’t have to do it all myself, and I don’t want to. I am so grateful to have a loving husband who is my partner in every aspect of our  life. I am so loved!

Thank You All!

Ready Or Not...

Excited, scared, happy, scared, sad…Tuesday, December 30, at 2:30pm I was an emotional roller coaster. I had my 40 week check up, and since my blood pressure was high the doctor sent us right over to the hospital for evaluation to decide if I needed to be induced.

I guess a big part of me was “ready”, as I had finished a couple errands that morning that I wanted to do before baby, I took a nice long shower, made myself all up, and even painted my toes! I had my hubby go to the doctor with me even, “just in case”.

On the way to the doctor’s office I was so nervous! Even if it wasn’t going to be that day, my baby would be coming soon! After all, my due date was only two days away. I was so nervous because I just didn’t know if I was ready yet, or truly ever would be. I know that sounds completely crazy. First of all, I was as ready as I was ever going to be! We had everything we would need for bringing baby home and the house was clean and organized. And like most women, a part of me was just ready to have this baby. I was feeling tired and big!

There was a part of me that wasn’t ready, though. That’s the part that wanted to hold on to this miraculous pregnancy forever. The part that wanted to carry our precious gift from God safe inside of me longer, to just have her with me. As much as my arms longed to hold her and all my senses were on high alert wanting to see her beauty, smell her sweet baby scent, and hear her little cries, my heart wanted to keep her tucked up in right next to it.

Pregnancy was one of the most beautiful, amazing experiences of my life. I was so blessed to have an easy and healthy pregnancy. Sure there was some sickness, and a few “typical” pregnancy things, but really I didn’t “suffer” at all. If I had believed everything I read I would have thought I’d be a pimple faced, sweaty, gigantic blimp always breathless, always tired, and always finding some new ache or pain or gripe. Heartburn, leg cramps, bad skin, exhaustion, crazy food cravings, swelling…pregnancy sounds like a thrill a minute according to the books. So I put the books away, put the negativity behind me, decided not to let all the “risks” and fears steal my joy, and instead focused on the beautiful miracle God had given us. God enabled my body to create a whole and healthy child. He enabled my body to bring forth a beautiful life to honor Him, and He entrusted one of His precious angels to us to parent. Those are the things that consumed me throughtout my amazing journey.

So when we arrived at the hospital and they told us we were staying I thanked God for my beautiful journey, asked His blessings on the road ahead, and began to look forward to finally having our little miracle in my arms, right where she belongs.

Ready Or Not...

Just a Few Short Weeks Ago

It’s 5am and I’ve been tossing and turning, thinking and praying since 4. Then my baby got the hiccups and thought it was acrobatics time, and my body was telling me it wasn’t going to sleep anymore without a little snack, so here I am eating oatmeal and writing. Isn’t this what everyone does when sleep has left them?

It’s probably not that weird that I’m up at such an inhumane hour. I mean, I think I was passed out on the couch around 10 (that seems to be my magic hour these days), so 6 hours might not be an ideal night of sleep for this overly tired pregnant lady, but it’s not all that terrible. In fact, in a few short months I’ll bet I would give anything for a straight 6 hours of sleep!

Tonight, this morning, (whatever!) my mind is racing with thoughts about my little girl and my husband, and am I doing ok with them through my pregnancy. Am I being a good enough wife? Am I an attentive enough mom? Am I enjoying this pregnancy to the fullest? So much pressure I put on myself! I’m a caretaker. I need to take care of my baby, my big girl, my husband…oh yeah, and me too.

Last night was Halloween and we had a wonderful evening! It was a fabulous week, really. We carved pumpkins with family, Bella had an exciting week of accomplishment and fun at school, I had a great doctor visit (hearing that strong little heartbeat makes every visit good!), we had a blast at a friend’s family Halloween party and trick or treat night, and wrapped it up trick or treating a little at my parents. Yep, it really was a great week and a “spooktacular” Halloween, but of course I have to question myself and second guess. Could I have done better? Well of course I could have! I’m not artsy craftsy Pinterest mom. I didn’t buy Bella a festive shirt for her school party, I didn’t take a picture of her in her costume with her pumpkin. Yes, I did take a picture of her with her pumpkin, and one in her costume, but not the costume and pumpkin combined; and probably not nearly enough pictures. I didn’t get my hubby anything festive to wear for our fun night out, and I didn’t get my cute pumpkin belly shirt I wanted to dress up my Katie belly. In fact I didn’t get too festive at all. We didn’t break out any of our festive fall decorations, and Bella didn’t even have a real trick or treat bag! Yikes! What kind of mom am I? What kind of wife am I? My husband really enjoys Halloween too, and in his previous marriage this festive event was almost as big as Christmas. So what kind of failure am I? And how will it make Bella feel next year when I know I’ll be all excited and into it because I will dress up our baby and pull her around in a wagon, and it will be new and exciting through her eyes, and we’ll be excited to share everything with her. You know how it will make Bella feel? Excited and happy! Just like she was this year, and every year that I beat myself up wondering if I did enough. And my husband? Well I’m pretty sure he’s just fine too. We had a fun time together, we laughed with friends and family, we enjoyed the beautiful weather and loved watching our little girl enjoy herself. That’s good enough for both of us, I’m sure!

As I’m nearing the end of this pregnancy I’ve kind of been slowing down (reluctantly, sort of) and questioning if I’ve done “good enough” through this pregnancy. I mean I have just less than nine weeks left! Have I appreciated every moment? Have I enjoyed being pregnant to the fullest? Have I taken a single moment for granted? Because I’ve been so busy. I’m always busy, and running and doing. I have not sat on the couch watching TV, eating Bonbons and waiting to be served and waited on (though my sweet husband would wait on me if that’s what I wanted/ needed!). I’ve tried to keep up with some kind of workout regiment so getting my body back to “normal” will hopefully be a little easier transition. But have I worried too much about that and not just done whatever I want because I can because I’m pregnant and can get away with it? Will I regret that later? Have I neglected Mark’s needs, or Bella’s needs because of Kate? Or have I neglected to give Kate the very best of care because I’m busy taking care of and doing for my family? See, I really do question myself so much! I guess it’s that perfectionist thing in me.

However, in all my thinking and overanalyzing and praying and wondering I did have an aha moment! I realized that of course I can always do better, and I’m sure there’s someone out there who’s doing it all just right. But I do feel like for me I’m doing ok. I am who I am, and worrying that it’s not good enough (though that seems to be a part of who I am too!) is just not ok. I’m not neglectful of any of my family members, myself included. I am constantly busy, running and going, and I like it that way. It’s who I am and what I do. I may not do up every event and festive occasion grand and elaborate, but I do it, and I try to make it fun, and we do it as a family. I may be a little too frugal for my own (and my family’s) good, but we have everything we need and a lot of what we just want. We do not go without food, shelter, clothing, family, friends, and love. Most importantly love! And have I enjoyed my pregnancy to the fullest? You bet I have! Yes, I could have and still should rest a little more. I do wish I had done more writing throughout, though I do have a little mini series I’m excited to be working on. Oh, and the time has sort of flown by in some ways. I am so thrilled and grateful that I’m healthy, that I’ve had an easy pregnancy, that I’ve been able to maintain my active lifestyle and feel great pregnant.

Just a Few Short Weeks Ago

AMA, BPPs, NSTs...What?!

Recently my monthly visits to my baby doctor became bi-monthly visits, which is normal for every expectant mom at 28 weeks. Great! Then I was told because I was AMA I would have monthly growth check ultrasounds. Ok, not sure what that means, but monthly ultrasounds to see my sweet girl sounds wonderful! So last week I was told that because I’m AMA (which I learned means “advanced maternal age”…over 35) I will need to continue visits every other week until 36 weeks, at which time I will be seen weekly, I will continue monthly growth check ultrasounds (yay), I will have weekly BPPs (what?!) and weekly NSTs (again, what?!). What on earth is all this testing? Has obstetrical medicine become like our education system so we have more testing than we can handle and no time to just be pregnant? Don’t get me wrong though, I’m thrilled they’re on constant baby watch to make sure our little one is safe and healthy, but what do all these letters  mean?

I found out this week. Yesterday was our second monthly growth ultrasound where we saw our beautiful girl on the big (well small really) screen just sleeping peacefully. We saw her strong heartbeat and watched as the ultrasound tech measured all her pertinent parts to make sure she’s growing and developing just right. And she is! She gained almost 1 1/2 pounds in the last month, though they say she’s going to be little. Fine by me! I’m kind of little myself so I’m just fine with my baby girl following my lead, as long as she’s healthy and strong. Ok, so I’m versed and knowledgeable in growth ultrasounds, now what do I do for this BPP thing? Oh nothing different? Ok. I can do that! Turns out a BPP is a biophysical profile in which the same ultrasound tech watches our baby for up to 30 minutes to make sure she practices breathing at least 3 times and that she moves at least 3 times. Well if we’d been doing this test at 10:00 at night that tech would have been stunned by my daughter’s amazing acrobatic skills, I’m certain. However, since we started the test between breakfast and lunch it happened to be nap time, and I think this munchkin might not be much of a morning person, if you know what I mean. She was enjoying her nap and didn’t have a lot of interest in being roused from dreamland. She succumbed to the prodding and did show us her moves though, and passed her test beautifully. Whew!

Ok, now I know what a BPP is, and for me it’s quite enjoyable! I love seeing what our little girl is up to! Now, on to the NST. The what? The non stress test. Non stress? Not for me! I was stressed! Apparently the non stress part has nothing to do with my anxiety level. The NST ended up being a pretty amazing test too, mainly because our little Kate did it all just right. All I had to do was kick back in the big comfy recliner with two monitors strapped to my belly, and all the baby had to do was her normal thing. Fortunately we did not catch her at nap time for this test this morning so she put on a fabulous show. The NST monitors the baby’s heart rate when she’s active and resting and during my contractions. They look for her heart rate to speed up during activity and contractions and to slow back down at rest. So to me it was so awesome listening to that beautiful strong heart beat doing just what it’s supposed to do, and hearing her movement as I felt it.

I do realize that the point of these tests is because there are risks, and some people are not able to enjoy the tests so much because they’re having them due to complications or other scary factors. I do not take my daughter’s well being for granted in the least, and I’m so thankful that all these tests are available to ensure she continues to thrive. I thank God each and every day for entrusting this little angel to us, and for enabling my body and hers to do and have everything necessary to bring forth life to honor Him. I have been so blessed with a healthy and easy pregnancy, and I’m thankful that I don’t feel like I’m “advanced maternal age”. And now that I know that these BPPs and NSTs are nothing scary, but are amazing and easy tools to monitor and ensure our baby’s continuous healthy growth I would like to tell all AMA moms not to be afraid, not to stress over the frequency of the visits, and to just be thankful that these tools are available for us!

 

AMA, BPPs, NSTs...What?!

Pedicures...a Treat, a Luxury, a Necessity

I love getting pedicures as much as the next girl, though I rarely treat myself to such a delightful, small luxury. I don’t know why that is, other than my umm..frugalness. Or perhaps it’s my lack of willingness to pamper myself. Do I think I don’t deserve it? I don’t know. But that’s a whole other psycho analyzing post. This post is about why I will be pampering myself with this magnificent little treasure soon.

At 32 weeks pregnant my “bump” is feeling a little more like a mountain. A beautiful mountain that I am so in love with, but a mountain none the less. Thus my comment on pedicures. See, I now have a renewed appreciation for the ability to pamper my own little tootsies whenever I like. Of course I’d been told I wouldn’t be able to bend and reach my own feet, but still it just feels a little strange to me. I used to just put my foot up on the counter, rub my lotion on, and paint my toes. No big deal! Now it’s so difficult just to put on pants, or socks, or to do anything that requires bending at the waist, let alone painting my toes! So in the spirit of feeling good about myself in a time I hardly recognize my own body I will get a pedicure soon! My baby shower is this weekend and I believe it’s important to feel pretty; and for me part of feeling pretty is pretty toes (keep in mind, it Florida, it’s warm, and I will be wearing open toes shoes!). A pedicure, a wonderful party surrounded by amazing friends and family, and a new outfit for the occasion will make for one joyful and confident pregnant girl!

Pedicures...a Treat, a Luxury, a Necessity

My Personal Pregnancy Stages...up to now

 

I’ve dreamed of being pregnant, I’ve read up so much on it over the years. I just knew I would recognize all the signs and symptoms, and the stages and trimesters would be familiar to me, if it ever happened. In fact, I thought I may have ruined any potential magic and surprise by researching so much. Because really, what else is an overly hopeful mom-to-be supposed to do over the course of many, many years of yearning and praying. I was ready, I was doubtful, I was hopeful. That makes no sense, I know, but it’s how I felt. So now that I’m pregnant I should be an old pro, right? Wrong! This is so exciting and new and different and I feel like I’ve never felt before, emotionally and physically.

 

I’ve sort of been experiencing phases of acceptance, if you will. I didn’t know that would happen! When I first found out I was pregnant it really kind of was “all about me”. I was pregnant. I was sick. I was tired. I was feeling and seeing changes in my body that no one else would know about. It was more about a pregnancy and less about a baby. Oh it was exciting and miraculous and I was overjoyed. But still at first it was mostly “I’m pregnant”.

After the sickness part was gone (oh thank God, thank Heaven, thank all things holy!) all of a sudden it became a reality that this pregnancy was about new life. Pregnancy means a new baby. Of course I knew that! Even though my mom pulled me from that part of health class in 8th grade I still know how these things work. I knew that that little plus sign on the pregnancy test, those 3 months of starvation alternating with nausea accompanied by constant fatigue meant my body was working hard to develop a little human. Logically, intellectually of course I know this. And even emotionally I was accepting, no thrilled, that God was doing miraculous work through me to bring forth a new life to honor and serve Him. I know this and I have prayed daily thanking Him for this. The only way I know to describe the feeling at that point is to say that my pregnancy was about us having “a” baby.

Now that I’m at the halfway point of 20 weeks and so excited beyond words to see “a” baby on an ultrasound picture (tomorrow!!) and find out if we’re having a boy or a girl my reality is changing once again. I’m still pregnant, of course, and absolutely loving it. I still have “a” baby growing inside of me, of course. But now it’s not “a” baby. It’s our baby! Oh my gosh! It’s our baby! This is a little person who is a part of me and my husband, but who will be unique and special. This is a tiny person that may have my nose and his sweet smile. It may be a little girl with my blond hair and his bright blue eyes. Or a little boy with his courage and my stubbornness. But it’s our little person. Another family member. I can feel our baby move, I can see major changes in my body, and I feel my heart expanding every day and overflowing with love and gratitude for this baby, for my family, for miracles, and for life. 

 

My Personal Pregnancy Stages...up to now

All Kinds of Mom

Yes, it’s official. I have changed my name. I found something that just suited me better, so I’m going with that. I know, I know, it’s been a while since I’ve written, and obviously a lot has happened! My name change is a reflection of a little of that. I’m not changing my personal, legal name of course. That name is who I was always meant to be. No, it’s my blog name that has changed! Andrea Ceely- Writer was just sort of a description, a word, but not really me.                                                                                   So now I’ve become All Kinds of Mom. Much better!  After all, that really describes me to a tee!

My first mom role came about 81/2 years ago with the birth/adoption of my baby girl.                                                             I became (technically speaking) an “adoptive mom”, though really I’m just mom. With the adoptive mom title also came “stay at home mom”, a role which I embraced, enjoyed, and cherished! About a year later my role switched to “part-time working mom” as my marriage was becoming even more shaky and finances became strained. Then another year plus a few months later I became a full-time working mom. The marriage was mostly over and I was preparing to change roles once again to single working mom. And I did.

My “single working mom” role was challenging, but so rewarding- maybe empowering is the better word choice there. Really I had basically lived as though I was single for the last few years while my ex-husband was busy with his girlfriend and her children, but to have the official title and the independence, and to really be making it on my own was still a big, welcome change. While I wasn’t doing it entirely on my own since I never would have survived without the support of amazing family and friends, I realized I could do it without depending on someone who was so absent, so wrong for me and for my child. So  my single mom role was an eye opening, self-esteem building, learning experience. And then I moved on to another role.

Over the next three years I met the man that God intended just for me,                                                                               became a stay at home mom again, a part time working mom, a work from home mom, and finally a step mom! In 2012 my mom heart expanded even bigger to make room for two sweet, fun, crazy boys who now call me mom, and who gave me a new mom role I never imagined I’d have, but that I cherish. While this mom role has it’s own challenges, it comes with so many rewards. I’m so blessed!

Over the last almost two years I have again become a stay at home, PTA, cheer, soccer, kid focused mom and step mom, and I love it! These kids make me crazy, make me laugh, and make my heart burst with love and pride. I couldn’t imagine anything better. Until a few months ago when we found out God is blessing me with yet another mom role. I get to start all over in the mom process. Come January 1st (or whenever he or she decides to make their grand entrance) I’ll be mom to a sweet newborn baby Ceely. My already big mom heart will expand even more to make room for our family’s fourth child, my second child, my first by birth, and my first with my soul mate and love, my amazing husband.

When I stopped to think of all the ways God has blessed me with this amazing mom                                                              role, this tremendous mom love, I realized that I have received His miracles beyond what my mind could have ever imagined. As a kid I always knew I wanted to be a mom. I always felt it was just who I was, who God made me to be. But never in my wildest dreams did I imagine all the ways I would be blessed with that role. And never could I have imagined God’s plan or timing, though I now recognize just how perfect it is. When I struggled to conceive many years ago, I could not have known how beautifully and perfectly adoption would change my life. When I was at my lowest point in life, struggling through a divorce and financial disaster, I had no idea that God would send me a wonderful man and two little boys to bring me a whole new life and love. And now I’m just in awe of God’s grace and mercy as He is growing our family and letting me be a mom yet again with an amazing and miraculous new life to round out our beautiful, crazy family. Thank you God for trusting me to be all kinds of mom to four of your precious angels.

 

All Kinds of Mom