I am 32 years old, in the midst of the most thrilling, exciting terrifying journey of my entire life, and, though I am on cloud nine, I am physically, mentally, and emotionally spent. It’s about 2:00pm, I am in a hotel room in a tiny midwest town, and it’s all I can do to undress and get a quick shower before I collapse in bed for a brief nap.
As I stand naked in the bathroom waiting for the shower to warm up I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror, and I see a totally different person than I did at this same time yesterday. Yes, I look pretty much the same, other than the exhaustion rearing it’s ugly head, but suddenly I am not the same.
A smile shines across my face as I realize I have a brand new identity. One that most women have nine months to grow into; but one that was literally overnight for me! You see, motherhood for me was not a nine month journey of carrying my baby in my womb, nourishing her and adjusting to having her depend on me for life. I, instead faced years of month after month disappointment at not conceiving. I faced a nine month journey of paperwork and background checks and letters and scrapbooks for potential birthmothers. I was not exhausted from the physical child birth itself, I was exhausted from the process, and more so from the overnight journey to meet my precious baby. So my transformation to motherhood came about when they wheeled that bassinet into the hospital room; and the prettiest, most perfect little pink bundle of joy looked at me with the brightest blue gray eyes and stole my heart right from my chest!
Looking in that mirror seven years ago I saw a happy (though slightly terrified) beautiful MOMMY where a fragile, self-loathing, mediocre wife (in a failing marriage), good worker, and loving daughter/ sister/ aunt once stood. I saw myself through my daughter’s eyes in that moment and I knew I had to be the very best “me”, the best mommy, for this precious baby girl, because she deserved nothing less!
I Was An Overnight Success!
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